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Health & Fitness

All the Things We've Never Said - Chapters Four & Five

Have you been wondering where Daisy's mom is? Find out why she isn't with the family and then join Daisy and Jamie for an afternoon of mini golf.

CHAPTER FOUR

Thursday and Friday passed too quickly for Daisy’s taste. As much as she wanted a job, she wanted to stay a kid; a kid who got summer vacation and an allowance from her parents for pocket change. A kid who collected scratch-n-sniff stickers in an old, beat-up photo album with pages that had already been equipped with sticky board so that once you put a sticker on the page, it was in there forever and always. Unless, of course, you wanted to rip the sticker.

She thought about how things used to be when she was younger. She and her parents had always moved around a lot, but it wasn't always so bad. They actually settled down in a few places. When she was six, they stayed in Indiana until she was seven-and-a-half. “We were lucky,” Daniel had said as she dragged her blanket behind her on her way to the car. “Good luck never lasts, Days. All good things come to an end.” Daisy and her mother had pleaded with Daniel to stay in Indiana, at least until Daisy finished the school year.

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“I’d like to Marie, but I’ve got to go where the next job is,” Daniel had said apologetically. “You and I both went to school. We can teach her what she needs to know.”

“Daniel, can’t you get a different job for those last few months? I saw in the paper--”

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"Marie, you know that Dave had to pull a lot of strings in order to set us up in Ohio. I'm sorry, but we’ve got to go.”

After that, Marie had always set aside some money to buy books. She would rummage through boxes at library book sales, buying textbooks for all the subjects Daisy would need in high school. But, when it came time for Daisy to go to high school, Daniel had said that home schooling had been good enough for this long, it would do for high school, too.

Money and school were the only things that Daisy remembered her parents fighting about. And Marie always held her ground when it came to Daisy. Thinking about it now, Daisy didn’t understand how someone who had fought so hard for her in the past, could just give up. That’s how Daisy thought of it. She couldn’t explain to herself how her mother could just send them on ahead and stay in Utah. She couldn’t take it anymore.

That’s all Marie had said as Daisy cried and pleaded.

Daniel had cursed and yelled, kicking the dust and gravel around him. “That's all I hear from you! This is my job. Get in the car,” he said, punctuating every word as if they were four distinct sentences.

“No,” Marie said quietly. “I won't do it anymore Daniel.”

“Mom, c’mon,” Daisy said. She always was the mediator between her parents, and, in most cases, she saw her father as completely unreasonable and stubborn and her mother as a long-suffering saint.

“I can’t.”

“Fine!” Daniel shouted, opening his arms wide. “Stay here! I’m tired of your whining anyway!” He got in the car and slammed the door. “Daisy! Get in. Now!”

“Dad, wait,” she called back. “Mom, please. We can do it together. We’ve made it for 19 years; we can go one more time. We’re better now. Dad’s last jobs have been great! Right? Maybe, we’ll stay at the next place.” She slipped her hand into her mother's, tugging gently.

“No, Daisy. I can’t do it anymore.”

“Daisy! Get in the car!” Daniel’s face was turned red and there were splotches of pink and white across his cheeks.

“Wait one freaking minute!” she screamed. “Mom, please!”

Marie hung her head down to stare at her feet. Daisy pulled again on Marie's hands, but Marie would not hold back. It was like she knew the break had to be complete and total to ever happen at all.

“No, Daisy.”

Daniel had had it. He cursed again, threw open the car door and grabbed Daisy’s arm. “Get in the car now!”

“Mom. . . ” Daisy pleaded, her throat closing around the word.

But her mother just stood there. Daniel swung Daisy around like a sack of feed; something you had to have a firm grip on and be rough with. He tossed her into the car while she fought and cried.

As he drove away, Daniel squealed the tires. “Good riddance to bad rubbish,” he’d mumbled.

“Shut up!” Daisy screeched at him. “How could you just leave her there? How can you do this?” Daisy pounded on the dashboard and stomped her feet.

“It was her decision, Daisy! Not mine!”

“You left her!” she yelled. “You left her!” Daisy kicked and clawed and twisted her way into the back seat of the car. She curled her body on the floor and cried. She cried with screams and chokes and gasps. She cried until she gave herself a headache and was dry heaving. And then she cried more.

CHAPTER FIVE

When Daniel woke up on Saturday morning the sun was in his eyes. He muttered a curse. It was bad enough that he had to work on a weekend, but he sure didn’t need the blasted sun in his eyes. Marie used to love the sun streaming in the windows in the morning. He remembered how she would get up in the middle of the night and open the curtains so that, in the morning, the warmth of the sun would dust the end of the bed, or a section of the floor, or a piece of furniture, depending on the set-up of the apartment or hotel they were staying in at the time.

Marie's ability to find the silver lining of any situation was one thing Daniel really loved about her. The two of them could be driving to his next job halfway across the country and she’d be marveling at the landscape or saying, “Isn’t the fresh air wonderful, Danny?”

Danny. No one called him Danny anymore.

When he thinks about it, really forces himself to think about the day he and Daisy left Marie behind, and when he is completely honest with himself, Daniel realizes that he saw it coming. Marie had been asking him to settle down. Telling him that this city or that town would be a really good place to finally stop driving and packing and finding new apartments. It wouldn’t be that hard, she had said. He was so good at his job, the majority of companies he had worked for held open invitations for him to come back. Daniel had even returned to the same company a few times over the years. But he wanted to keep moving. Even he didn’t quite know why. In the beginning, it had been a desire to show Marie America. She’d lived in the same place all her life, born and raised, never set foot out of Washington State. Whereas he was the son of an Army man -- an Army brat he’d been called, too many times to count.

Later Marie would use Daisy as the reason to stay put. Daisy needed stability. Daisy needed friends and a place to call home for more than a few months. Daniel knew that Marie needed that too. He just wasn’t ready to give it to her.

When he and Daisy drove away from Marie, Daniel had to force himself to keep driving. Listening to Daisy cry and choke almost made him turn back more than twenty times. And seeing Marie kneeling in the road, her hands clamped over her face, was almost more than he could take. But his pride would not allow him to stop.

Very rarely, and never out loud, Daniel missed Marie.

Daisy knocked on the bathroom door and ordered him to hurry up for the sake of his breakfast, which was getting colder by the minute. He stepped into the shower and let the steam temporarily erase the persistent memories of the past.

*****************************************************************

Daisy was sitting at home, staring into a corner of the living room. When Madeline had suggested waiting until Monday to start, she’d thought it was a good plan. But during the week, Daisy had already taken a dozen walks around the neighborhood, went to the video store, watched two movies, did some preliminary work at the library by wandering around and checking out the shelving system, gotten groceries and read a book. Now she was just plain bored.

Her gaze drifted to the phone, but there was no one to call. Daisy had made precious few friends in her life - none of whom she kept contact with. With nothing to distract her, Daisy's thoughts wandered, touching on past, present and future. The three had one common element: uncertainty. Her past had been dictated by it, her present colored with it and her future in the shadow of it. Uncertainty had spurned countless fights - between her and her father and between her parents.

Daisy remembered all too clearly how she’d pressed her palms to her ears trying to block out the words. She remembered watching her mother run from him, not so much in fear of being hurt, but just to get away from the shouts, rants and anger that encapsulated Daniel Marcus when things weren’t going his way. Even now, Daisy hated to oppose him. She knew the little fights they had had since arriving in Wisconsin were a single drop of water compared to the Niagara Falls of what was possible.

Daisy was lying flat on her back, with her knees hooked over the arm of the sofa, twining a strand of hair around her finger, when someone knocked at the door. A tinge of excitement and of fear spread through Daisy’s mind. Who does she know that would be visiting her?

Jamie was examining a piece of paper when she opened the door.

“Oh, so I do have the right place!” he said. “Good, I was beginning to think I filched the wrong address from the files.” He smiled at her. “Can I come in?”

“What are you doing here?” Daisy asked.

Jamie studied her face for a minute. She was smiling, but looked completely shocked at the same time.

“I just thought I’d come over and see what you were up to.”

Daisy still just looked at Jamie, a grin plastered on with shellac.

“So. Can I come in?”

Daisy pushed the door away from her side and swept her hand over the threshold. “I thought you guys were working today?”

“I was, they are,” Jamie said.

Daisy cocked her head to the side and looked at Jamie as if the change in the position of her head would instantly grant understanding.

 “I asked for the afternoon off,” he explained.

Daisy rubbed her hands on her thighs and then gestured toward the sofa for Jamie to sit. “And you came to see me?”

“Well, I took the time off to come and see you.”

Daisy was flattered. And confused. She just blinked at him.

Jamie grinned wider. "How’s your hand?”

Daisy pulled her palm off her knee and examined the barely visible scratch. “Oh, it’s fine. It wasn’t anything much to begin with anyway. Thanks again for your help though.”

“No problem.”

They sat there, just looking at one another as if in some staring contest where the loser would have to produce a suitable topic for conversation.

Jamie shifted in his seat. “You want to go do something?”

She smiled, looking away from Jamie to glance at the floor and nod slightly. "What’d you have in mind?”

Jamie stared at her for a moment, then decisively said, “Mini golf,” with a curt nod of his head.

 

Jamie drove himself and Daisy to the mini golf course across the street from the library. They made small talk on the way, but a myriad of thoughts fought for Daisy's attention.

Did he really take time off for me? Does Dad know? What if he is a jerk, just like Dad says?

When they got there, Daisy reached into her pocket for money but only found lint and a faded one-dollar bill.

“Oh no,” she said.

Jamie looked at her. Her whole face was getting pink. “What?”

“I can’t believe it,” she said, shoving her hand deeper into her pocket, as if frantic digging and clawing at the seam would magically produce an extra buck or two. “I feel like such a jerk!”

“What’s the matter?” Jamie asked, trying not to laugh.

“I only have a dollar.” Daisy opened up the warm and crumpled bill and stretched it out in front of Jamie’s face, proof of her claim. But as she pulled the two ends apart, the worn paper tore in half. Daisy’s eyes got larger and her jaw hung loose, like a door on failing hinges.

Jamie pulled his lips in between his teeth, not certain as to what her reaction would be. He didn’t want to laugh in her face if she would cry. Daisy was examining the halves of the dollar bill and let out the most infectious laugh Jamie had ever heard. She sounded like the guy on computers or sound effect tapes dubbed “hysterical.” Try as you might, not one person could ever resist the laughter. Neither could Jamie. He grabbed the money from her fingers and crumpled it up.

“Now you don’t have any money!”

Daisy was laughing so hard that no sound at all was escaping from her. She managed to draw in some breath and apologized to him.

“Why are you sorry?” he asked.

“Honestly, I thought I had money with me. We can go back to my place and get it. Is that okay?”

“Nope.”

Daisy slowly stopped laughing and looked at Jamie to see if he was serious or just kidding. “No?”

“Nope. This round’s on me,” he said. “C’mon.” He twitched his head toward the door of the clubhouse and Daisy followed.

Six holes later, Daisy was losing miserably. She bowed her head with conviction, with reverence for the game of mini golf, with determination. She pulled back her putter. Too far, Jamie thought, scrunching his eyes as he watched her. She set her eyes on her target spot and swung the club. The ball bounced out on to the footpath -- the one across from hole 12.

Jamie laughed as Daisy pulled her hand over her mouth. “This sucks,” she said.

“You sure do!” Jamie said, trying to be serious. “How can you be so bad at this?”

“Hey!” Daisy picked up the abbreviated pencil and tossed it at Jamie.

“Well how was I supposed to know you couldn’t putt?” The pencil missed him by almost a foot. For a moment, Jamie stared at where it had landed on the ground. “Or throw, for that matter?”

Daisy threw back her head and laughed. “It’s your turn, Mr. Sports. Why don't you just show me how it's done? Let’s see how you putt.”

Jamie stepped up to the nicked rubber mat and dropped his ball. With no consideration or planning involved, he drew back his club and tapped the ball. It went in a straight and direct line toward the hole, stopping just short of the cup.

“This sucks!” Daisy said again.

After her miserable loss, Jamie put his arm consolingly around Daisy's shoulder and said, “C’mon, champ. I’ll buy you a soda.” He paused a second. “Or you could buy me one.”

Daisy threw back her head and laughed again. Jamie was beginning to love it when she did that. This time her head rested softly on his arm, and he affectionately pulled her a bit closer to him, jostling her shoulder as they walked to the car, but Daisy didn't seem to mind. What Jamie didn't know was that Daisy's legs flet wobbly and her heart was beating loudly in her ears.

When they got back to the apartment Daniel was just walking in the door. He watched as Jamie get out and opened the car door for Daisy and saw her smile at him. He just stared while they said their good-byes at the curb.

“This was fun. Thanks a lot, Jamie.”

“No problem. I had a good time, too.” Jamie looked toward the building and saw Daniel standing in the doorway, scowling his disapproval. “Can we do this again sometime?”

Daisy smiled and a blush covered her cheeks. "I'd like that," she said.

Jamie smiled, “Great. I'll see you soon,” he added, giving Daisy's arm a squeeze.

Daisy turned around and jogged a little to the door. Daniel's eyebrows lifted in surprise as Daisy walked toward him. So that's where he was today, he thought to himself. It was an unpleasant surprise seeing them together and Daniel arranged his features in a configuration that would express just that to Daisy. He knew she got the message as he watched her smile droop, then fade; her steps going from a bounce to a flat footfall.

"Dad," she said, feeling as though she'd just been caught stealing a cookie from the jar before dinner. "How was work?" she asked with forced levity.

"Oh, just great," Daniel replied, his tone thickly sarcastic.

"Good." Daisy pushed a tight smile and stepped past Daniel into the building. Daniel followed, closing the door behind him as they entered the apartment. Daisy bustled around, coming up with tasks to keep herself busy.

"What do you feel like having for supper?" she asked.

"How about the truth?" He was perched on the arm of the sofa, staring hard at Daisy. "You know I don't like him, Daisy."

Daisy sighed, bracing herself for an argument. "Dad, we just played mini golf. And Jamie was very nice." She turned to face him.

Daniel's face was hard. "You know I don't like him," he repeated.

Her face flushed. "But I do, Dad," she said quietly.

"Is that so?"

Daisy jutted her chin defiantly, folding her arms over her chest, her mouth pressed into a hard line. "Yes."

"You don't know him," Daniel scoffed.

"Neither do you," Daisy countered.

Father and daughter stared at one another, neither willing to budge. Though it had only been a matter of minutes, Daisy sighed and hunger her head; it seemed like an eternity. "It was one afternoon, Dad," she said softly.

Daniel gave a dismissive grunt, then looked at Daisy. It was a look Daisy knew well; a look of disappointment. A look that made Daisy feel as though she'd betrayed not only him, but herself, too.

"Do what you want, Daisy," he finally said. "It's your life."

And though Daisy heard the words and knew they were true, something inside felt heavy and guilty. As usual, uncertainty tinted her view.

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